New Ideas

Araw Ng Balikbayan

Isang araw, umuwi mga ate ko

Mula Australia dumiretso ng Pinas ang isa

Nagside-trip naman ang isa galing Indonesia

Sa pagside-trip niya, nadagit pati insan ko na nasa Singapore,

Ayun! Tangay din siya hanggang Maynila!

Masaya ang araw na iyon,

Nagulo buong angkan,

Mula Novaliches hanggang Mega'y nalibot nila,

Nabisita na ang may sakit na tiya,

Nakapagpabeauty't pagupit pa!

Malupit diba!

Yan ang Araw ng Balikbayan, mula sa aking mga mata!

============

At eto po ang mga patunay

Na may naging Araw ng Balikbayan...

Mga litrato na kuha ko....

Sana lang, maipadala sa akin

Kuha ko na pangmodel daw ng katol

Para mailagay sa aking salamin

Panakot sa mga lamok sa amin.

========

Bilang pangwakas,

Hinuli ko ang pinakasentimental sa akin,

Mga litratong binigyan ng pamagat,

Dahil ito'y mga alala na sa puso'y nakatatak (chika!)

(Sensya na feeling ko lang maging makata! Bwa-ha-ha, ha-ha!) <--kasama po ito sa tula, maki bigkas lang ng malumanay.

Confrontational Year

Mid-way the year of the Fire Pig 2007, couldn't help but notice this year to be a very confrontational year for me.

My relationships this year, whether in business or personal, has been facing some testing times. I don't know if this has something to do with me being a Fire Dragon since my husband is undergoing the same hardships as I am when he is a Metal Monkey.

Readings for us this year are very auspicious and benevelont. Wonder what we missed...

There's got to be a cure to this. It's kinda tiring to have one's relationships tested and, well, one's principles as well.

Into The Abyss of Insanity

I woke up into the abyss of insanity,
Lost and uncertain of where I should be,
Vaguely understanding of who I should be,
I wonder if I'll get out of this one...alive.

Time For Change

Its quite coincidental, but I found myself, alone, attending the 25th Anniversary of Brahma Kumaris (Phils) entitled, A Time To Change.

My marriage has been on the rocks for the past weeks. Admittedly, I am part to blame. It has been a cycle of arguments and promises, betrayal, and disappointments between me and my husband. Unconsciously, we've been manipulating each other--in one way or so--borne from childhood experiences of parents' generation-sourced trauma.

I did not know my betterhalf was unhappy with our marriage. All along, I knew that he is happy with our life together and our business. But I forgot that he's not the type either to tell you that out-front (despite the times I would ask him about it).

By fate, we had to undergo another "wake up call" before I learned the truth. Pain had to hang around us again like a shadow, revealing itself at the latter half of each day.

Then an invite on A Time To Change came in my mail last week. It seemed to like a message in disguise from the Heavens. It seemed a great event to solve my dilemma.

So, there I was, waiting for the show to start. For the first time in years, I was doing something alone. It was quite frightening for I was left to deal with myself and the demons behind my head while I was surrounded by serene music that constantly echoed the message, A Time To Change.

As with anyone faced with change, I was initially in denial--well, atleast, for the first 15 minutes of sitting under the big dome of Araneta.

I kept on telling myself that it's quite unfair. He should be one out here. He should be the one learning how to change. And I couldn't help but see a picture of my mom talking about my dad.

Poof! My delusions disappeared.

Right then, I realized that it was I who needed change. I had to accept the fact that I was brought here. I was being told that I needed change more than anyone else, more than the two of us.

As Brahma Kumaris puts it, "If I change, then the world changes!" Change begins with me. If I want our marriage to work as it should be, change should begin with me.

It's a tough call! But worth every shot!

My little recollection reaffirmed all these:
1. Learn to be silent
2. Have more space for more clarity (of thinking)
3. Control your thoughts
4. Increase tolerance power
5. Always meditate
6. Always connect with God

Our problem started when I just couldn't keep myself quite. I'm one who couldn't accept defeat--in any form. I didn't control my thoughts and blurted out words that shouldn't have been said, prompting him to seek solace from another woman. Something that could have been prevented if I only learned to be silent.

Now I know (sadly, the hard way), I must begin to change. To do so, I will practice the homework Dadi Hirdaya Mohini gave participants, for change to begin with me:

1. Smile! (Keep stocks of it!)
2. Say sweet words to everyone you meet or at all times
3. Share your happy feelings always

I couldn't wait to see John and share all these!

Ohm Shanti!!!

Hindi Dapat Manghinayang

Sa anong pagkakataon ka ba dapat manghinayang?

...sa isang relasyong nasira dahil sa isang pagkakamali?
...sa isang relasyong inaakala mong maganda ang kinabukasan?
...sa mga bagay na plinano mo para sa relasyong iyong pinakakaingat-ingatan?

Dapat nga ba?

Pano kung, sa simula't simula pala'y, huwad ang relasyon?
Pano kung ito pala'y isang ilusyon?
Pinaniwala na may mabuting samahang nabubuo?
Pinasakay na ang samahan ay dalisay at walang natatagong adhikain?
Pano kung ang lahat pala ng kagandahan at kabutihang pinakita ay isang engrandeng pakana upang ikaw ay malito, mahulog ang loob, at maging kasangkapan sa isang pansariling pakinabang?

Dapat pa nga ba itong panghinayangan?

Hindi.
Hindi dapat manghinayang.

Ilusyon lamang ang lahat!
ILUSYON!

Kaya bumangon ka na sa iyong pagkakalugmok!
Gumising na sa katotohanan!
Tara!
Oras na para yakapin ang katotohanan!

Heto ang aking mga kamay!

Tanganan mo.
Ito ay tunay at dalisay.
Ito ay totoo.

Hindi ilusyon.

====
NB. Para sa aking mahal na kabiyak.

More Than Words

Somebody dedicated this song to me during high school. I never really realized why until its lyrics became relevant to me.

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you
Not to say it, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you fee
lThat your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

Now Ive tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close dont ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldnt make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

Love

Google defines "love" as a strong positive emotion of regard and affection...the unifying agent of universal design.

Love has spun the world all over, orchestrated great wars, built lasting homes, and destroyed great men. It is so powerful an emotion that nothing can stand before it.

Yes, love can be like that. That's why, we often seek to experience it, to immerse in its joy and warmth. We even keep mementos of it just so to be rekindled one day, when all hope is lost and life is gray.

It's like the love note I keep in my mobile phone's Inbox. It is a message I often read and run to for consolation and affirmation...to remind me that I am loved on days when the world is harsh and insensitive.

I read it on days when I'm down and lost. I hang on to it on days when I need a pat on the back to keep on moving with my life.

If only the sender would know how much strength and hope I draw from his simple confession of love.

Step Back To Jump Forward!

It's time to step back a little and take some time out for yourself so you can jump forward and move ahead with your plans in life!

It's time for some soul searching! So shake yourself awake and mark your calendars for this once-in-a-lifetime FREE activity courtesy of Brahma Kumaris.

See you there!

Daily Photo Blog

Hey, this is one cool blog! I'd really love to join, but I can't commit in submitting photos on a daily basis!

Thanks to dear old Agnes, I got to know of this site, where she is the only contributor from Pinas!

Anyone from Cavite Group who's interested? John? Belle? Josh? Alex? Sali tayo!

Karma (Matakot Ka Sa Karma Movie)

Wished they could have called the movie, "Antigo" instead of "Karma" since it really has nothing to do with karma as implied by their tagline "Matakot ka sa Karma"--often used to denote that we should be cautious of our actions as these could revert back to us--albeit, "Murphy's Law".

Edge-gripping as it is, the title and what I watched in the movie was disappointing since I was expecting that the people experiencing "bad things" in the movie were really the ones who caused such things to happen--well, except for the last episode starring Angelica Panganiban who lied and didn't return what wasn't hers.

The movie in general is gripping, hearth-trobbing, and scary! Great to add to your collection, if you're one who loves buying ORIGINAL VCDs. Just don't expect you'll be watching something related to the title.

Kudos!