As I walked along the deserted path lined-up with century-old Narra and Ipil-Ipil trees rooted in the vast greenery of the Sacred Heart Novitiate in Lagro during lunch time today, enjoying the cool air brought by the light drizzle as I hid under my green umbrella, I couldn't help but reflect on what has transpired over the last 10 days of my life...
Hard to digest, extremely painful, extraordinarily stressful, wicked are but some of the words to describe it. Surreal, you might say. But factually tragic.
Yet, here I am in this secluded place whose landscape was very conducive to a mini retreat as posts depicting the Stations of The Cross greet me one after the other. I was mortally alone.
Mortally, yes. But not entirely. God was with me. Touring me for a moment to enjoy the great beauty of His creation--oh but to refresh me! Yes, refresh me! I deserved it after all.
He made me stop awhile before a post whose image depicts Himself fallen to the ground, carrying the cross partly on his shoulders as another man stood behind him, sharing his suffering. It was the Fifth Station: Simon of Cyrene Carries The Cross.
He whispered to me, "that's you, my love!"
Yes, I do realize that what I had just experienced was but a little taste of His Passion. That He will not allow more than I can bear nor shall He allow me to bear it alone. He always goes before me.
Then, He whispers again. "They are suffering, too." Pertaining to the people who have inflicted the terrible pain I suffered. I took a moment to pray for them that they may endure, that their hearts be filled with the courage to face the truth, and the humility to embrace their cross.
I also prayed that someday, they will understand that I did what I had to do out of obedience to the Father and out of loving like Him. Love for myself and love for them. Tough love, they say, is what it's called. A love that intends to correct another in the hope that such object of affection transcends to a person of goodness and maturity.
I also hope that someday, they'll realize that whenever we fall to sin or make a grave mistake, God will send people, like Simon of Cyrene, to help us get up and start anew--even if it means that person sent by God had to suffer as Christ did, to some extent...
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath...
It was time to move on and enjoy the scenery again.
