Time For Change
Its quite coincidental, but I found myself, alone, attending the 25th Anniversary of Brahma Kumaris (Phils) entitled, A Time To Change.
My marriage has been on the rocks for the past weeks. Admittedly, I am part to blame. It has been a cycle of arguments and promises, betrayal, and disappointments between me and my husband. Unconsciously, we've been manipulating each other--in one way or so--borne from childhood experiences of parents' generation-sourced trauma.
I did not know my betterhalf was unhappy with our marriage. All along, I knew that he is happy with our life together and our business. But I forgot that he's not the type either to tell you that out-front (despite the times I would ask him about it).
By fate, we had to undergo another "wake up call" before I learned the truth. Pain had to hang around us again like a shadow, revealing itself at the latter half of each day.
Then an invite on A Time To Change came in my mail last week. It seemed to like a message in disguise from the Heavens. It seemed a great event to solve my dilemma.
So, there I was, waiting for the show to start. For the first time in years, I was doing something alone. It was quite frightening for I was left to deal with myself and the demons behind my head while I was surrounded by serene music that constantly echoed the message, A Time To Change.
As with anyone faced with change, I was initially in denial--well, atleast, for the first 15 minutes of sitting under the big dome of Araneta.
I kept on telling myself that it's quite unfair. He should be one out here. He should be the one learning how to change. And I couldn't help but see a picture of my mom talking about my dad.
Poof! My delusions disappeared.
Right then, I realized that it was I who needed change. I had to accept the fact that I was brought here. I was being told that I needed change more than anyone else, more than the two of us.
As Brahma Kumaris puts it, "If I change, then the world changes!" Change begins with me. If I want our marriage to work as it should be, change should begin with me.
It's a tough call! But worth every shot!
My little recollection reaffirmed all these:
1. Learn to be silent
2. Have more space for more clarity (of thinking)
3. Control your thoughts
4. Increase tolerance power
5. Always meditate
6. Always connect with God
Our problem started when I just couldn't keep myself quite. I'm one who couldn't accept defeat--in any form. I didn't control my thoughts and blurted out words that shouldn't have been said, prompting him to seek solace from another woman. Something that could have been prevented if I only learned to be silent.
Now I know (sadly, the hard way), I must begin to change. To do so, I will practice the homework Dadi Hirdaya Mohini gave participants, for change to begin with me:
1. Smile! (Keep stocks of it!)
2. Say sweet words to everyone you meet or at all times
3. Share your happy feelings always
I couldn't wait to see John and share all these!
Ohm Shanti!!!
My marriage has been on the rocks for the past weeks. Admittedly, I am part to blame. It has been a cycle of arguments and promises, betrayal, and disappointments between me and my husband. Unconsciously, we've been manipulating each other--in one way or so--borne from childhood experiences of parents' generation-sourced trauma.
I did not know my betterhalf was unhappy with our marriage. All along, I knew that he is happy with our life together and our business. But I forgot that he's not the type either to tell you that out-front (despite the times I would ask him about it).
By fate, we had to undergo another "wake up call" before I learned the truth. Pain had to hang around us again like a shadow, revealing itself at the latter half of each day.
Then an invite on A Time To Change came in my mail last week. It seemed to like a message in disguise from the Heavens. It seemed a great event to solve my dilemma.
So, there I was, waiting for the show to start. For the first time in years, I was doing something alone. It was quite frightening for I was left to deal with myself and the demons behind my head while I was surrounded by serene music that constantly echoed the message, A Time To Change.
As with anyone faced with change, I was initially in denial--well, atleast, for the first 15 minutes of sitting under the big dome of Araneta.
I kept on telling myself that it's quite unfair. He should be one out here. He should be the one learning how to change. And I couldn't help but see a picture of my mom talking about my dad.
Poof! My delusions disappeared.
Right then, I realized that it was I who needed change. I had to accept the fact that I was brought here. I was being told that I needed change more than anyone else, more than the two of us.
As Brahma Kumaris puts it, "If I change, then the world changes!" Change begins with me. If I want our marriage to work as it should be, change should begin with me.
It's a tough call! But worth every shot!
My little recollection reaffirmed all these:
1. Learn to be silent
2. Have more space for more clarity (of thinking)
3. Control your thoughts
4. Increase tolerance power
5. Always meditate
6. Always connect with God
Our problem started when I just couldn't keep myself quite. I'm one who couldn't accept defeat--in any form. I didn't control my thoughts and blurted out words that shouldn't have been said, prompting him to seek solace from another woman. Something that could have been prevented if I only learned to be silent.
Now I know (sadly, the hard way), I must begin to change. To do so, I will practice the homework Dadi Hirdaya Mohini gave participants, for change to begin with me:
1. Smile! (Keep stocks of it!)
2. Say sweet words to everyone you meet or at all times
3. Share your happy feelings always
I couldn't wait to see John and share all these!
Ohm Shanti!!!
1 comments:
=) speechless...
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